Long distance relationships are hard. They’re also incredibly confusing. I’ve been with Jess for three years, living 3,655 miles away for all three of them, and no, it hasn’t gotten much less confusing. Why the hell would I choose to befriend, date, and then marry someone across the Atlantic Ocean? I’m not sure, but if I had to guess I’d say it’s because I like the exotic things in life. You know, spicy Indian food, Italian sports cars, fried tarantulas, Bora Bora, that kind of thing (disclaimer: I’ve only experienced one thing from that list, I’ll let you decide which one it is). In reality, it’s cuz I loved Jess, and in the big picture of life, I knew the time we had to spend apart would be a small blip on the radar.
Humans are weird because we get super attached to other humans, which I personally find strange but also incredible.
I wanted to be with her, I had that thing happening where I wanted to spend all of my time with her- that weird human thing that happens called love or whatever. Humans are weird because we get super attached to other humans, which I personally find strange but also incredible.
Think back to your high school years, I guarantee you knew a couple that had a conversation something like this:
Here’s the scene: Todd and Carly have been dating since sophomore year when they were assigned to be lab partners. Todd, remembering every movie he had ever seen, knows this is his chance to hit it big with Carly. Fast forward a couple years, Carly’s been giving Todd the answer to every test, and he gets accepted to Penn State (not a huge accomplishment either way). And ACTION:
Todd: Aw gee Carly, I’m going to Penn State next year, that’s like an hour away from here, I don’t know if we’re gonna make it.
Carly: Oh Todd, I’m sure a long distance relationship will be POSITIVELY CONFUSING but I bet we can make it work. Plus, we can face time every day and I’ll constantly text you, smothering you virtually with love.
Todd: But Carly, we’re gonna be a whole hour away from each other, we’re so young, don’t you wanna be out at the club partying and taking shots with your friends until you throw up on each other?
Carly: Gee Todd, I guess you’re right, I never thought about it like that. There’s no way a hot young couple like us could still have fun on our own if we’re in a long distance relationship. We better just not even try to make it work and end it now.
Aaand Scene. Maybe the conversation wasn’t as ridiculous as this, but you get the point. There could be a few things going on here. Maybe Todd actually just wants to go to Penn State next year and take body shots off of a sweaty bartender somewhere. Maybe he thinks his course load will be too heavy to manage a relationship. Maybe he plans on joining a fraternity and thinks the only love he needs in his life are his new “brothers”. Who knows. All I know is unless you don’t actually like someone very much, why wouldn’t you try? Don’t be a Debbie Downer / Negative Ned and just give up, that’s ridiculous. Zero respect given to Todd in this scenario, what an absolute weakling. As an American, I’ll point to Manifest Destiny and the bad ass frontiersmen that journeyed West back in the day. Those dudes literally just started walking West with no clue what they were venturing into. You think Todd believed in Manifest Destiny? Hell no. Would he just start walking West fighting off Grizzly Bears and shit? Hell no. Todd should man up and love his girl, or give a legitimate reason why he doesn’t want to date Carly anymore.
When I made the decision to love Jess whole-heartedly from across the ocean, my thought process went something like this.
Pros (in no particular order): Super hot British girl, dope accent, incredibly intelligent, voice of an angel, likes to talk to me (rare), laughs at my jokes and bad sense of humor, understands that not all 6 packs are visible, (to see 31,583 more pros, click here).
Cons: Is across the Atlantic Ocean, Elon Musk is inventing teleportation way too slowly.
Don’t be a baby about it, jump in the deep end and learn to swim.
Did all of my friends say this trans-Atlantic relationship thing was ridiculous? Obviously. Was I incredibly confident that it would work long-distance? Absolutely not. When we were in college did my stomach turn when she would go to clubs with the incredibly fashionable British guys? Of course. But at the end of the day, I knew one thing, something my momma taught me years ago. Don’t be a baby about it, jump in the deep end and learn to swim – or something like that. At the end of the day, you might surprise yourself, and end up conquering whatever it is you’re jumping into. I had no clue how hard this long distance thing would be. I also had no clue how incredible it would turn out, and how great the road would be along the way. If you’re going into a long distance relationship, it’ll be hard, and confusing, but it’s positive confusion, confusion is the first step to understanding how it all fits together into the puzzle of your life.
Have you been in a long distance relationship before? In one now? Tell us about your experience in the comment section below!
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